It has been a crazy year and half. There have been a lot of lows and there have been times where I have wondered if we were going to make it. There have been times where you’ve made me feel as though I have failed you, just as there have been days where I’ve made you feel as though you’ve failed me.
There have been times when words have become our worst enemy and we almost lose the battle to them. There have been days where I have cast the first stone and days where you have as well. There have been days where the fighting gets to be too much and I want to wave the white flag. There are days when I wonder if any of it is worth the pain. But it’s on these days that I also remember everything we have worked so hard to build.
I remember the good times and not just some of them, but all of them. From the first time you smiled at me to the last time I made you laugh with some of the random things that come out of my mouth. I remember the nights we have spent hours laughing when we should have been sleeping and the countless hours we have spent driving to nowhere, just enjoying the company of each other. I remember it all. But most importantly, I remember how much you’ve given me.
When you found me, I was broken beyond repair, yet somehow you managed to glue the pieces of my heart back together. You picked me up off the ground and helped me rebuild what had been shattered by others before you. You helped me see what I was truly worth, when everyone else had only shown me what I wasn’t worth. You helped me become the person I once was. A person, I thought, no longer existed.
On the days in which I want to curl up in a corner and block out the world, you pick me up and hold me tight. You show me how great life is and make me forget about the darkness that tries to consume me. You cast a light that no shadow can run from. Those are the days that I know my heart belongs to you.
There are days that I can’t stand myself and you pull me out of my own brain. You show me extra love and remind of the person I have become, not the person I was before you. You love me with all of your strength and put your own issues aside to continue to hold me up.
When I feel like I’ve failed you remind me of my accomplishments and push me to do more. When I feel weak, you show me my strength. Truth be told, you become my strength. Without you I’m not sure how I would get through some days.
You don’t know what you’re worth and I wish you could see that to me, you’re worth your weight in gold. You are my life, my world, and my best friend. All I can home for is that you know how much I love you and how much you mean to me and my survival.